The Long Goodbye- The Sacrifice For American Opportunity

In class, I learned about "transnationalism"- Afro-Caribbean mothers leaving their children for the opportunity and economic gain America has to offer.  Their children's well being, attachment, psychological well being, and sense of love, affection, and belonging is at stake, but in the end of the day American women's needs are met by having a nanny to care for their overpriviledged children...?
With this said, the women of “The Long Goodbye” demonstrate the process of psychological acculturation in their characteristics, their coping, and role in their community.  The mothers consist of the Afro-Caribbean population who engage in transnational parenting to create a better life for their family.  The family is split into two different parts of the world, and the dominant society wants the mother for her production labor to benefit the economy (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.45).  They represent what happens to individuals who are developed in one cultural context and attempt to re-establish their lives in another one. The mother’s of transnational parenting are like many immigrants abandoning important values and responsibilities from their country for our dominant culture.  Their characteristics, acculturative stress, coping skills, and psychological wellness leads to their healthy or unhealthy adaptation. 

First, it is important to examine the emotional stress the mothers encounter because this may lead to poor coping and psychological problems. The mother’s experience the pain from the separation creating feelings of helplessness, regret, guilt, and a severe sense of loss (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.59).  The mother encounters repression where she denies the emotional difficulties her children experience.  The mother sends materials goods to make up for her lack of affection and love.   The mother also rationalizes the distance by letters, telephone calls, and emails. 

One of the most devastating components that can impacts her ability to cope is ambiguous loss.  A mother experiences ambiguous loss as an incomplete or uncertain loss inherent in uprooting or migration.  The mothers can not return to their home so they feel trapped, homesick, and alone (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.55).  Individuals can experience ambiguous loss as loved ones are present when they are physically absent or perceiving loved ones as absent when they are present(Best-Cummings, 2001,p.59).  This clearly demonstrates the difficulty coping with the situation and then leaves them vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and learned helplessness. 

The psychological issues make it a challenging experience and also the variable of social networks. These women come to America with a social network connection here, but that relationship may fade, and unless they are living within an Afro-Caribbean community they feel isolation, doubt, and sadness.  They make attempts to fully acculturate i.e. employment, making friends, school and may receive their green card, but they never totally acculturate due to their biological tie to their country. 

While some mothers have difficulty coping, many of these mothers demonstrate the trait of resilience which offers many chances of successful adaptation and surviving transnationalism.  They have the ability to adapt and bounce back without it leading to mental illness or stress(Best-Cummings,2009,p.70) The Afro-Caribbean mothers do experience culture shock and experience stressors, but those that are resilient can cope with these stressful situations and they change stressors into manageable events(Best-Cummings, 2009, p.67).  Cognitive superiority, autonomy, androgyny, social competence, and internal locus of control develop.   Having outside supports i.e. trusting relationships, resources, and developing your own interests is a key to resilience (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.56). If these women can focus on their strengths, learned life skills, and keep their outside supports close this can help lead to healthy adaptation. 

The big component here that I have difficulty processing is that the mother leaves her children to do domestic work, with a large percentage becoming nannies.  The mother leaves her country and raising her children to come to work as a nanny within the dominant society.  This is very conflicting being involved with your children from a distance, and experiencing the family dynamic in the dominant society.  They have to provide consolation and be a confidante to their employer leaving them drained of energy to provide emotional care to their families (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.63).  As mentioned earlier, it is difficult to assimilate and to cope with the demands of the dominant society alone, but to have to be involved with your other culture as well; it is like a tug of war. 

Increasing numbers of women are entering into the work force leaving Afro-Caribbean mothers at need to leave their children to accommodate us.  This is very similar to the early immigrants experience in that we used immigrants to our benefit, which leaves individuals psychological acculturation at risk.   

These mothers demonstrate strong women who stay focused on their goals and strive for reunification.  They become acculturated to the dominant culture as best they can and stay optimistic and work based off their strengths as individuals.  Many of them work with the white race and are assimilating into our culture for their children’s benefit. As mentioned earlier, men are usually the first to come over, but these women are the breadwinners for their family.   They experience the split of acculturation, but they work with it.  Something about this country makes people make sacrifices, and as a citizen, I have a difficult time understanding why.  The variables of psychological acculturation vary depending on the individual, but immigrants all work towards the same consistent goal of opportunity.  From the times of the early immigrants to mothers of transnationalism, immigrants all make sacrifices to be in that land of opportunity-America.