Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over (2010 Version)

Another one of my life songs.. I feel this songthrough my mind, body, and soul.
love it!

Signs, Symbols, and Catholicism

Attending a private Jesuit school, Loyola University Chicago, my love for Jesus Christ was solidified through my beautiful education there. My favorite class was taught by a priest Father Bosco. The class was life changing. God's spirit was always inside of me, but it took my love and committment to God to a whole new level. Here is something I wrote about signs and symbols. Reading it today I love it because I feel fully connected to signs and symbols. I always think about my life and I SEE, FEEL, HEAR, TOUCH the signs. I experience and believe in the signs God is giving me everyday and especially amongst my travels and interpersonal interactions with othes. I feel his presence in me in each and evey interaction with people called to my spirit actually his spirit within me.  It is such a beautiful thing and I can't even begin to fathom a life without him.

Signs, symbols, and ontology are significant words to the sacramental theology of Catholicism.  First, signs point to what is significant.  They are epistemological involved more in the mind than presence.  A symbol is a sign that embodies what it signifies.  Symbols hold more power for Catholicism because they are ontological.  They pull together the meaning which extends beyond experience.  They do not just take place in the mind (epistemological), but they are present in a real way.  They are present in not only our conscious, but our unconscious ways as well.  Symbols signify the reality of God and his presence.  Symbols are never “just symbols” rather they embody the definition of a sacrament. 

Signs and symbols can described in an analogical way (both/and).  Sacraments are both signs and symbols, which are instituted by Christ, to give grace. Symbols lead to the true, real, and substantial ontological presence of Jesus Christ.  During sacraments such as marriage, baptism, confirmation, or the Eucharist, the presence of Christ is present through the matter and form of the sacrament in Holy Spirit.  Jesus is a sacrament of the loving reconciliation and presence of God, and Jesus is a sacrament for the whole world.  A priest is both and sign and a symbol for Jesus Christ.  Every sacrament is approached in an analogical way making comparisons through metaphors and images.  For instance, “God is both like and unlike human beings.”  God measures up to our most proud sacramental moments and our imperfect moments.  Throughout the life of a Catholic, the Catholic sacraments involved the signs and symbols that lead to the real, ontological presence of God.

"American Beauty" Through a Sacarmental Lens

“American Beauty” is a movie that demonstrates the beauty of life through many significant signs, symbols, and images.  The characters do a wonderful job at portraying a perfect, suburban life that ends up not being so perfect after all.  The characters may not have presented physical, religious encounters, but they portrayed many sacramental moments from the beginning to end.  If an individual views this movie from a hermeneutic lens, it is near impossible to not see the sacramentality of the movie.  The characters: Lester, Carolyn, Ricky, Jane, Angela, and Colonel Frank clearly demonstrate these sacramental images of life.

            First, Lester demonstrates the sacramental imagination through his spiritual awakening.  He is the typical white, suburban husband who works the boring 9-5 job.  He is unhappy with himself and his family, and has lost the meaning to living his life.  The first site of Angela starts up a lively spirit inside him; a spirit that now seeks a forbidden desire.  A sacramental moment is when Lester is laying in bed, and finally starts to communicate with Carolyn and tell her how he is feeling. He started living life like a teenage boy, such as: he gets a new car, listens to new music, works out, and eats healthier.  He is not going to live doing everything to please her, but now he chooses to please himself.  In an ontological way, his life moments take place with god’s presence beside him.  He realizes the beautiful moments are sacred moments.    Lester states,

“It's hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world…. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life…You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Don't worry ... you will someday.”

Everyone will experience death at some point or another in life, and looking back they too will cherish the beautiful moments of life.  Lester looks back and realizes he took all the precious moments for granted such as: communicating with Jane, his wife’s smile, and his wife’s own beauty.

            Next, Angela portrays a sacramental image of “American Beauty.” Throughout the movie, the red rose petals are constantly surrounding Angela’s body.  The roses

represent desire, sin, lust, and evil to Lester.  Angela wears red lipstick indicating sin and temptation. Angela follows societal norms striving to maintain a cool, perfect image.  She acts like a superficial blonde, but in the inside feels like an ordinary girl.  And she does end up representing an ordinary girl in an ordinary world.  She is not this sinful, seductive girl who gives into temptation; rather she is a young, pure, beautiful girl.  For instance, in the end she is wearing the white top appearing like an innocent young woman.

            On the other hand, Carolyn gives into temptation, but she is also very similar to Angela.  She portrays a successful, suburban career woman with an optimistic life perspective.  She controls her marriage with Lester and with the lack of communication it ends up falling apart.  When her perfect life image is threatened, she begins to fall apart as well.  Like Lester, she seeks a temptation, and someone to make her feel desired.  She commits adultery with Buddy and enjoys the fun, the romance, and the compatibility.  When Lester finds out, Carolyn feels regret seeking reconciliation for her sins.  She truly loved Lester, but she did not stay true to the sacrament of marriage.  Carolyn embraces Lester’s shirts and then falls to the floor like a devastated child who wants her normal, ordinary life back.

            Lastly, the hermeneutic lens is the lens of Ricky’s camera. Ricky’s camera objectifies Jane yet graces her with beauty.  Jane feels ugly in comparison to the beautiful Angela, and she has body image issues like any ordinary teenage girl.  Ricky’s lens records her real beauty by revealing her true identity.  While the camera is on, Jane does not have to act, but rather she can just be herself.  She lets the real moments such as: the fights, the crying, the gossiping, and the family moments are viewed by Ricky.  Ricky uses this lens to record lives of others because he does not enjoy his own life.  His father is too strict with too many rules and his mother is sick.  He would rather watch the sacramental moments such as: the plastic bag in the leaves, the homeless woman walking, or the mother taking her daughter to school.  Ricky says, “It’s as if God is looking right down at you-it’s beauty.” The lens catches the moments for God, and God is watching over everyone through this hermeneutic lens.  He sees everything including the bad moments and the good moments, but the beauty overpowers the evil.

            What defines “American Beauty”? It is the beauty of reality, an imperfect world.  It is a world that is not based on material possessions, but it is based on the real world.  The world contains homeless people, imperfect marriages, adultery, homosexuality, and guns.  The movie catches the sacramental images, moments, and relationships through the hermeneutic lens of God.  The world is full of so much beauty and the beauty should be cherished throughout ones life onto their death. 

Copyright

Priscilla C. Raj

Nelly Furtado - In God's Hands

Telepopmusik - Just Breathe

The Moment that Takes Over Your Heart

Sometimes life throws you curve balls and you build up a tough exterior to surive. You let go for those who know you best.  Your heart melts for clients and people that fullfill your lifes passion and purpose... And sometimes you let go and give a chance to someone who makes you smile and reminds you the world is a better place with you in it.  You let go and let your heart feel something it hasn't felt in so long. "There's a moment, there is always a moment where you can give into this or you can resist it." Can you resist that feeling or does that moment take over you? The moment can take over you when you least expect it.  You just want to live, give,enjoy, and just breathe, but the moment and the feeling are irrestiable.  Your guard is down and your heart lets you fall into a deep connection. You want to be strong, tough, and focused on the you.  Yourself is someone that is always consistently there for you no matter what trials and tribulations you face.  Letting your heart seize the moment you are vulnerable and left with the reprecussions of what the other person may do, say, or act. Your open heart is left hurt, but it is too late.. you already fell...

Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition (Axwell & Dirty South Remix) [HD]

Duality of the sexes

Duality of the Sexes

Simone de Beauvoir was a French writer, existentialist philosopher, feminist, Marxist, Maoist, and social theorist.   The author’s father always wanted to have a boy and would tell her “Think like a Man, Simone.”

I found the existentialism very interesting “how one achieves and what constitutes a fulfilling life, what obstacles must be overcome, and what external and internal factors are involved.” The individual is solely responsible for giving their own life meaning and living that life passionately and sincerely, which I really connect to this. 

The author made connections and comparisons between the being of a woman being the “other” and the man being the “subject.” Man can think of himself without woman yet woman can not think of herself without man.  She made comparisons between women and other cultural groups i.e. African-American and Jewish.  If reciprocity has been recognized between natives and strangers, how come it has not been recognized between sexes? Women are not a minority like African-Americans or the Jewish.  These two groups were unaware of each others existence, brought together by historical events, or recognized each other’s autonomy.  Women have always been subordinate to men with their dependency not relating to a historical event or social change.  Is natural condition beyond the possibility of change? Or have women, as inessential, and let male be the essential, not bringing about change as cultural groups have? She states “Women do not authentically assume a subjective attitude.” Can this be problematic with women? She brings up recently things are changing, but why did it take so long for women? “How is that the world has always belonged to men?

Simone says women lack the means to organize themselves into an actual unit like a cultural group.  Women live dispersed among males attached through residence, housework, economic condition, and social standing to men (Simone 8).  Men are dependent on women for satisfaction upon the female.  Liberty and justice at stake for women because this is a man’s world.  Unfortunately, women do lay claim to the status of “subject” because they lack definite resources and are tied to the man.  For example, domestic abuse.  The women falls prey to the “subjects” power, and she remains the “other”.  Women depend on the man emotionally and financially giving men the power and contributing to the cycle of violence.  It is unfortunate that these women experience verbal/physical abuse and many do not find the strength to leave and they do not find their voice and power.  They have become so dependent on the man that they lose their own self and their strength as a woman to go on with their life without the “man.” A life being controlled and manipulated is not fulfilling for a woman and is sad to see it play out over and over again.

 

The other interesting dynamic was the comparison between master and slave.   As we discussed this power struggle last week, “the master has grasp in the power of satisfying this need through his own action.”  The need works in favor of the oppressor, the slave, and the women continues to experience oppression and lack of power.  Whether it is a master/slave, a male rapist/victim, a domestic abuser/victim, the idea behind the dual relationships is the same with the dynamics of control and power. 

Quotes I liked

“It is doubtless impossible to approach any human problem with a mind free of bias” 

 As a Social Constructionist, I base my life off my “learning experiences" from birth to now, and it is difficult to not have bias on the society and how we function.  When your level of awareness is so high, it is amazing what you key in and pay attention to, and how it affects the behavior of others.  How to we measure the happiness of others? Are most women happy and content in our society? Looking at it existentially, how can a human being in a woman’s situation seek fulfillment? Should women have to claim to be a man to receive respect and consideration?  

"The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities" ARISTOTLE

“In truth, go for a walk with your eyes open is enough to demonstrate that humanity is divided into two classes of individuals whose clothes, bodies, smiles, gaits, interests, and occupations are manifestly different.”

Do you walk with your eyes and see this differences everyday and how do you feel?

How do they affect you directly on a daily basis?
If we think about our daily interactions, these differences are present all around us, but are we aware? Are we walking with our eyes wide open or our eyes wide shut? -Priscilla-

Copyright

Priscilla C. Raj

White Priviledge and Racially structured Communities

The community I grew up in was a white upper to middle class suburban neighborhood in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago, IL.  I grew up in a racially structured community with primarily whites and few minorities i.e. Hispanic, African-American, and Asian.  I recall an African-american family moving in our complex. They were placed in our neighborhood with Section 8, and they were the only AA family living there.  I remember our neighbors, and even my own mother, were questioning and asking why this "Black" family was placed in our neighborhood.  As a young, adventurous free spirited, smart 12 year old girl, I questioned why this family was being treated so poorly, but I also did experience a fear of this other race.  Social distance between black and white was present resulting in friends and neighbors feeling threatened by AA and concerned for their safety. 

What is interesting is that I do not consider myself white rather I am of mixed race. My mother who I grew up with is white, and my father is Indian.  My mom grew up in a very suburban Upper class racially structured community and perhaps this contributes to her moving my brother and I into a racially structured community. With my mother being a single parent and working two jobs, I did not feel this“white privilege,” but I was surrounded by it.   I left at age 17 because I could no longer live in such a community that did not embrace diversity whether looked down upon it. I believe my white friends that grew up in nice homes, with two parents, with their college education paid for had no idea how privileged they were and they took their white experience for granted, but maybe some of this was against their control.

In my Ways of Knowing class, we watched a video on the Suburban neighborhoods and real estate and how difficult they make it for a person of color to get a home in these neighborhoods.    This racism is socially constructed by our society with money and white privilege taking precedence over diversity in specific neighborhoods.  Many may want to place blame on the members living in the community, but is it their fault? When you grow up in a community your whole life with primarily the white race and next door a Black family moves in, one may feel fear because they are not used to interacting with this culture and instead of questioning and learning from them, they are scared.  Fear created by discrimination and lack of cultural opportunity and education.

Review of the movie "Precious"

This movie took place in 1987, differences in the dynamics of the social work field from then to now..  Confidentiality was not a big deal and social workers were silenced on child abuse and encouraged to not probe further. Less cases, meant more families, which still ended up to be too many clients for one worker. 

I found the movie to be sad, but uplifting for Precious.  We look at our clients and their progress in small steps.  I was sitting through the movie waiting for the moment where she would be able to leave the home and be in a safe environment.  Why did it take her to have TWO children from her father and an abusive environment and she still didn’t get removed.  Yes, there was the deception of the social worker so they can get the “check” that was so important for the mother, and this is priority for foster parents and parents on welfare because they become reliant on the system that we have created.

From the beginning of the movie, there was a label on Precious.  She is 16, African-american, living in poverty, and pregnant.  The principle most likely saw her as just another black kid impregated and becoming verbally and physically aggressive at school.  The principle did ask “How did you get in this situation, Precious.” She asked it in such an uncaring, confrontational way.” We all would want to open up to someone like that right? No. 

Problem: The school and their structure having to deal with behavioral problems in a systematic way i.e. warning, detention, suspension can give up easily on kids and label them “truant”, “bad”, or “delinquent.” Why are they like this go to the STEM OF the PROBLEM!

In the meantime, Precious has positive thoughts in her mind to keep herself going, singing, dancing, being a star, glamour, she loves math, etc… all strengths that noone bothered to address.  Precious needed that one person to say YES YOU CAN.

The whole beginning of the movie I counted all the negative words used by her, her mother, and her envt. and it turned out to be an ambundance! If someone could have pushed those positive thoughts through, given motivation, inspiration…

A man in the hospital reached out to her(a male, which she didn’t have in her life and needed!)

Many people after the movie processed and felt anger towards the mother.  Why?

Why are you going to judge the mother? She is a part of the cycle of violence that happens in our society.  She loved a man and seeked affection from someone who loved her daughter and in turn the daughter was seeking that love and affection.  She was numb to what affection really felt like growing up with verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.

We can’t pass judgment on the mother for what she did and abandon helping her. 

We need to build on helping restore love and unity in the family and working it out THERAPEUTICALLY not just ignoring a HUMAN BEINGS feelings. She has feelings, potential, self worth as a person that can be improved if her feelings and issues are addressed and validated rather than placing judgement.  She has strengths just like Precious does. 

Interesting how the mother seeks affection from the husband, precious seeks affection from the mother, and precious finds affection and love in her babies.  Many mothers having children to replace this affection that is missing from their family envt. and the strong desire for someone to love them. 

Sometimes all you need is love... 

Social Stigmatization of American Society Does it matter if your black or white?

STEREOTYPE WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HEAR IT?

DO YOU EVER ASK THE POPULATION IS IT TRUE??

YES, ASK THE GROUP, TALK TO THEM, LEARN FROM THEM!!!!!!!!

Can we get past the social stigmatization of our society?? Can we open up our eyes and see what is happening? It does all stem from a psychological root, how do we change this? Blacks having antiolutions about whites, whites having antiolutions on blacks. Can we think outside of the box please? LEARN about a culture rather than judge. 

Do you want to know what is really like to like in poor area What is Black culture and how is different from white culture? Go spend the day in that area and observe.

Listen to peoples conversations, empathize with what they have to go through in their environment, and see how difficult it is to push on from crime/violence/poverty etc.  

It is self-fulfilling negativism and it creates the attitude that one’s own efforts mean nothing and that one’s race, religion, sexual orientation, or ethnic identity is an insurmountable barrier to ACHIEVEMENT.  Our stigmatized society asks,"Why don’t they get a job, why don’t “they” just go to college? “

Learned helplessness, self-fulfilling negativism, little positive reinforcement from parents, not having role-models to identify with, not having positive, uplifting, motivating resources for CHANGE within in their community. 

They are denied the RESPECT, ACKNOWaaaaaaaaaaLEDGMENT, and CREDIT that they deserve so they fall victim. “It is the denial of the need that causes most damage to individual members of minority groups.”(Hetrick, p.28).  Disrespect from one minority group to another to the white group. 

Yes, there are those individuals that push on from their environment and do not let the oppression and negativity within their environment take over, but for others it so hard to get up in the morning and say “Yes, I can when you hear gun shots at your front door, when you are in a gang because you long for a sense of belonging and a common identity, when you don’t receive child support from your husband, when your children are taken away and you dedicate all your time to getting them back when you suffer from addiction to a substance and spend your days trying to figure out how to get it, when you are mentally ill and you skip out on taking your medication because you don’t have health insurance or you don’t have the motivation to make the commitment to take it everyday.   There are stereotypes that go BOTH ways between white people and people of color, especially African-Americans.  I recently questioned why aren’t their any white foster parents? Answer: Because they were burned so many times by the African-American parents that they just gave up.  This is important key in and see what is going on here.  Please remember I am not talking about ALL of the population.

Most African-American parents do not want their children to be raised into a White culture. They want their Black culture to be prevalent in their child’s life. STIGMA against how whites raise their children rather than learning from each other to create

GROWTH AND INTEGRATION OF PARENTING SKILLS.  

We can learn from each other, especially with parenting.  Black culture may believe in discipline and punishment, but this have psychological implications on the child. 

White parents may be too lenient and allow their children to get away with too much.  We can learn from each other if we can just overcome this stigma coming from both sides

Copyright

Priscilla C. Raj

Homosexuality(LGBT) and Our Gender Norms and Flaws

The key component here for these adolescents, and for me, is what the author brought up about the social identity that society creates for these adolescents.  Society convinces LGBT to be a certain way, to misinterpret their true feelings and emotions for the sake of normalcy and keeping society happy.  This is so sad and unfortunate for these adolescent females, and especially the males who are more likely to be alienated from their family. 

On a religious perspective, I like what was mentioned from a religious book, “Most normal people hate and fear homosexual practices both because they fear their OWN PASSIONS and because they are afraid of their own children.”(Hetrick, p.27).  It does involve self respect, and this population can be disrespected and educated on how to AVOID being homosexual rather than how to COPE with homosexuality in a positive way. 

We believe and internalize antilocutions (negative verbal statements and beliefs about a hated group).  The anticolutions are internalized because of lack of access to accurate information or appropriate role models.  Knowledge of their sexual orientation may have a negative effect on their treatment in all sectors of society- family, school, job, etc (Hetrick, p.29).  This “we” vs. “they” mentality develops.  Homosexual groups are so similar to minority groups experiencing this social and economic deprivation and not being able to self actualize on their lives, their worth, their value as human beings (PRIS). 

Freud said problems of homosexuality were caused by SOCIETAL OPPRESSION rather than homosexuality itself. YES! This societal oppression created friction for adolescents not being able to claim their true identity and true self rather they are forced to conform to societal norms

What happens psychologically and socially for these adolescents?

1. Social Isolation
2. Emotional Isolation- THE DEPRECIATION OF SELF –HUGE impairment of the development of feelings of self worth, this is where it goes wrong! Self doubt, unworthy of affection and love, mistrust, misguided, etc.
3. Cognitive Isolation- lack of access to ACCURATE information about homosexuality LACK OF APPROPRIATE ROLE MODELS(LEADING TO UNSUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT Problems with family- upset with truancy and poor grades rather than focusing on what is the REAL problem with my child? Parent in denial of the problem, child left at loss and his feelings are jeopardized(PRIS)
4. DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, DRUG USE.
5. LOSS OF SHELTER

The coping strategies are very interesting.  The homosexual population has mastered

LEARNING TO HIDE.  The discredited vs. the discreditable.

The discredited individual is clearly stigmatized and he can not hide, i.e. just like the African-American who can not hide from his skin color.

Discreditable are those who can hide monitor their behavior to think, act, dress, like the norm so they are not given the “label” of homosexuality. 

**Each moment of monitoring which is unconscious and automatic for others serves to reinforce the belief in one’s differences and inferiority****(Hetrick, p. 36).  Each moment they are unconsciously stepping into the societal stigmatization of their own sexuality (PRIS).  They over-monitor their behavior cuing into the reactions of others and trying to be something they are not leading them to chronic feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and poor self worth (PRIS). 

Also, very interesting Cognitive dissonance and Self-fulfilling negativism***

This population encounters denial of membership, hiding their identity, and dissimulation. 

One becomes separate from oneself, separate from their primary group.  The “we” and “me” gets lost and they repress their actual sexuality for the group, i.e. Catholics or Jews.  They are taught to believe that it is just a “phase” they are going through and lead them to hate their homosexual desires and identify with the dominant, STIGMATIZED group.  This self-fulfilling negativism is fully present with the strength of the fear negating the perceived professionalism (Hetrick, p.38).  

This all tags on to our class discussion on gender behaviors that have been socially constructed over time.  Women are suppose to reproduce, men are suppose to be protectors, providers, and strong.  Children are raised to believe that the are “suppose to have” a sexual desire for the opposite sex.  The gender roles are pushed on these adolescents resulting in cognitive dissonance and identity confusion.  Families believe in these rigid distinctions and because their own FEAR they encourage their child to follow the norm, i.e. Father buying his son GI Joe’s, having him play sports, taking him outdoors rather than assessing what his son’s interests are and how he can accommodate him.  Give children/adolescents a choice especially when they are being shaped by their life experiences at this critical time (PRIS).  

 This does not just happen with the homosexual population, it happens with all groups! The stigma against the Mentally ill, racial groups, etc. People internalize what they HEAR AND SEE in the media i.e. misperceptions about depression, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, people labeled as “crazy” and “stupid.” African-Americans labeled as lazy and on welfare.  Individuals internalize society’s hatred and overall FEAR.  These social stigmatizations are roots to our social problems and if we can get to the root of the problem perhaps we can fix it=) PRIS

Copyright

Priscilla C. Raj

The Long Goodbye- The Sacrifice For American Opportunity

In class, I learned about "transnationalism"- Afro-Caribbean mothers leaving their children for the opportunity and economic gain America has to offer.  Their children's well being, attachment, psychological well being, and sense of love, affection, and belonging is at stake, but in the end of the day American women's needs are met by having a nanny to care for their overpriviledged children...?
With this said, the women of “The Long Goodbye” demonstrate the process of psychological acculturation in their characteristics, their coping, and role in their community.  The mothers consist of the Afro-Caribbean population who engage in transnational parenting to create a better life for their family.  The family is split into two different parts of the world, and the dominant society wants the mother for her production labor to benefit the economy (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.45).  They represent what happens to individuals who are developed in one cultural context and attempt to re-establish their lives in another one. The mother’s of transnational parenting are like many immigrants abandoning important values and responsibilities from their country for our dominant culture.  Their characteristics, acculturative stress, coping skills, and psychological wellness leads to their healthy or unhealthy adaptation. 

First, it is important to examine the emotional stress the mothers encounter because this may lead to poor coping and psychological problems. The mother’s experience the pain from the separation creating feelings of helplessness, regret, guilt, and a severe sense of loss (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.59).  The mother encounters repression where she denies the emotional difficulties her children experience.  The mother sends materials goods to make up for her lack of affection and love.   The mother also rationalizes the distance by letters, telephone calls, and emails. 

One of the most devastating components that can impacts her ability to cope is ambiguous loss.  A mother experiences ambiguous loss as an incomplete or uncertain loss inherent in uprooting or migration.  The mothers can not return to their home so they feel trapped, homesick, and alone (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.55).  Individuals can experience ambiguous loss as loved ones are present when they are physically absent or perceiving loved ones as absent when they are present(Best-Cummings, 2001,p.59).  This clearly demonstrates the difficulty coping with the situation and then leaves them vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and learned helplessness. 

The psychological issues make it a challenging experience and also the variable of social networks. These women come to America with a social network connection here, but that relationship may fade, and unless they are living within an Afro-Caribbean community they feel isolation, doubt, and sadness.  They make attempts to fully acculturate i.e. employment, making friends, school and may receive their green card, but they never totally acculturate due to their biological tie to their country. 

While some mothers have difficulty coping, many of these mothers demonstrate the trait of resilience which offers many chances of successful adaptation and surviving transnationalism.  They have the ability to adapt and bounce back without it leading to mental illness or stress(Best-Cummings,2009,p.70) The Afro-Caribbean mothers do experience culture shock and experience stressors, but those that are resilient can cope with these stressful situations and they change stressors into manageable events(Best-Cummings, 2009, p.67).  Cognitive superiority, autonomy, androgyny, social competence, and internal locus of control develop.   Having outside supports i.e. trusting relationships, resources, and developing your own interests is a key to resilience (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.56). If these women can focus on their strengths, learned life skills, and keep their outside supports close this can help lead to healthy adaptation. 

The big component here that I have difficulty processing is that the mother leaves her children to do domestic work, with a large percentage becoming nannies.  The mother leaves her country and raising her children to come to work as a nanny within the dominant society.  This is very conflicting being involved with your children from a distance, and experiencing the family dynamic in the dominant society.  They have to provide consolation and be a confidante to their employer leaving them drained of energy to provide emotional care to their families (Best-Cummings, 2009, p.63).  As mentioned earlier, it is difficult to assimilate and to cope with the demands of the dominant society alone, but to have to be involved with your other culture as well; it is like a tug of war. 

Increasing numbers of women are entering into the work force leaving Afro-Caribbean mothers at need to leave their children to accommodate us.  This is very similar to the early immigrants experience in that we used immigrants to our benefit, which leaves individuals psychological acculturation at risk.   

These mothers demonstrate strong women who stay focused on their goals and strive for reunification.  They become acculturated to the dominant culture as best they can and stay optimistic and work based off their strengths as individuals.  Many of them work with the white race and are assimilating into our culture for their children’s benefit. As mentioned earlier, men are usually the first to come over, but these women are the breadwinners for their family.   They experience the split of acculturation, but they work with it.  Something about this country makes people make sacrifices, and as a citizen, I have a difficult time understanding why.  The variables of psychological acculturation vary depending on the individual, but immigrants all work towards the same consistent goal of opportunity.  From the times of the early immigrants to mothers of transnationalism, immigrants all make sacrifices to be in that land of opportunity-America. 

Is there such a thing as "normal"? Are mental health clients labeled too much?

There is definitely a lot of stigma around the world "normal." I personally believe it is very difficult to define and "normal."  I would say it can be described as "average" and is based upon societal norms that have been created over time.  "When a critical mass of people change their behavior, the deviant may become the norm." If everyone is doing it, then it will become the norm, and therefore there will be less judgement on the behavior. As social workers, we assess, treat, and we diagnose, which usually comes with a "label."  We have created labels for every symptom out there and in the meantime the pharmaceutical companies are banking off these labels.  Patients are being labeled as having a certain diagnosis i.e. depressed, anxious, autistic, hyper active, oppositionally defiant etc.

Rather than working on starting a session with a "planned emptiness", workers go in with preconceived notions about the client based off the label.  Many are not seeing the person for their strengths and human potential rather they are focusing on the label and the behaviors and symptoms that go along with it.  The more diagnoses for a specific illness, the more they can become normalized.  For instance, ADHD has been diagnosed so frequently that it is becoming normalized in our society.  Our social structures are not quite conducive to mental health causing a stigma around the world "normal' and "crazy."  If you are medicated or have severe mental illness, one without knowledge of mental illness may label you as "crazy."  The stigma exists, lets work on breaking it together by educating those on mental illness symptoms and treatment.
Psycho-educate Psycho educate and psycho educate!

Anger and the Dual Relationship

It is important to identify that anger is a feeling that all human beings feel.  It should not be used towards labeling groups of people for their behavior i.e. those who are “violent” or “resistant.”  It should be clearly acknowledged as a “normal” feeling in session and having the clinician identify their own triggers to anger can help balance the playing field.  For instance, I ran many anger management groups, and if I just sat there and said I never got mad and I was always feeling happy, that would be completely ingenuine and counterproductive to treatment.  The clients I had were adolescents who engaged in physical and verbal altercations on a regular basis, and even with staff and peers in group.  As group leader, I defined what is anger, what are triggers to anger, feelings that are mistaken as anger, but are really something else.  I did everything in a very psycheducational way with a lot of my own feelings and energy. I created diagrams, scenarios, and role plays around their real life experiences and I shared mine is well.  Everything shared is censored and shared for the sole BENEFIT OF THE CLIENT. 

As clinicians, we feel anger because we are human beings just like our clients, difference is that we cope in positive ways, therefore we need to teach, empower them, give them reasons for why they should MAKE THE CHOICE to engage in more positive behaviors.  In group, we listed out the pros and cons of their different choices and that was pretty self explanatory.  I would tell them that I could have made the choice to do x, y, and z, but then these would be the consequences so I chose to make the right decision.  Guide them, let them know you are just a person,and release the power dynamic, give them the power and the freedom of choice. 

When the adolescents I worked with actually demonstrated their anger in group, it was a key time to identify what they were really feeling, thinking, and what triggered them.  We had such great groups where many children learned to better identify their feelings and wanted to change, but their ENVIRONMENT kept getting in the way.  For instance, one client was stuck in a gang for years, her life engrained in violence.  When you are so used to coping in one way, it is difficult to change and it takes time and practice of concepts learned.  It is the responsibility of the clinician to aid in this healing process, to create a holding environment that is safe, but also a REAL environment.

As clinicians, our fears may hinder us from growth as a person and growth within our interpersonal relationship with our client.  Over years, the field has grown and is changing into a dual relationship between two human beings. 

There is socially constructed ways of how one is SUPPOSE to act with a client and letting the power overpower the session and labeling contributing to not being able to connect to another human and their strengths, weaknesses, wants, needs, desires as people and humans.  Freud, such an amazing man, but had such restrictions on what therapy should be, what a clinician should feel.  If we are engaging in counter transference, who says that is a bad thing? And how can we use this to benefit our DUAL RELATIONSHIP with the client. 

Be real and show them that you experience these feelings, but you handle them in a positive way resulting in a job, education, accomplishments, more opportunity etc. for an adolescent population and adults either way.

Use your fears to drive success within the dual relationship rather than having it hinder the relationship and growth. 

Copyright:

Priscilla C. Raj

When all hope is lost think again...

When all else fails, there is always hope, or is there? Hope may sometimes be difficult for clinicians to hold onto when the negative transference is contributing towards their own affective needs.  We are real people with real feelings therefore it is important to address our REAL feelings that are going on within the therapeutic relationship. 

Address what is being said or felt non-verbally and how this is making you feel as a clinician.  With the continuous negative transference, it is happening for a reason and empathizing with that fully and truly connecting with it is important.  In a healthy way that benefits the client, identify their feelings towards you, do they have similar feelings towards another significant person in their life?  It is coming from something within the client that is real, experienced, connected with, past trauma, bad object, displacement, avoidance, etc. You address what is being felt, what is being said, why it is being said, how to positively channel these feelings into the session, redirect onto the client letting them come up with the answers to their transference. 

I would hold onto the hope because it drives the success and challenges me to reach a client’s full potential as a human being.  EVERYONE has a potential and EVERYONE has strengths, it is positively identifying them and working with them in a productive way that can help a person recognize and live in their potential.  Holding onto hope for our clients that may be so wrapped up in their lives they forgot about the four letter word                                     H-O-P-E. 

I would like to think I can maintain a sense of hope, even with the worst negative transference. I have worked with many populations, but maybe I will one day cross a population that I have difficulty with and hope may be intertwined with counter transference.  For example, some say it is very difficult to work with pedophiles of children or serial killers.  Being fully mindful of my feelings and what is triggering me, I should be able to identify and label the transference in our sessions.  But even for the worst population, I want to try my best to hold onto HOPE and hold true to my beliefs of connecting with a human being. 

Someone mentioned being beaten in class and not feeling the repercussions, so this makes it okay.  That is the problem with those in our society not knowledgeable of the psychology of things.  Everything we experience affects people differently psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, the bio- chemistry of our brain is different, etc.  Having empathy for these experiences and building off the person’s potential as a human being i.e. this can be small steps towards positive movement, a larger goal.  Not everything in therapy is just solved in a 3 months of session, a year, etc  These are deep, ingrained issues/ feelings/ etc. that affect our lives now and maybe forever.  So be mindful, hold onto hope, and find the person’s potential/strengths, and run with it. 

Copyright: Priscilla C. Raj

The Intersubjective Relationship Between Therapist and Client

The field is moving towards the intersubjective relationship meaning the dual relationship between two people-the innate connection that two people have when they first interact.

In school I receive many confirmations that I am in the right place. Where the field is moving, what is taught, and discovered, I already practice and have for years. 

"When you are living and breathing in your purpose you know it, you feel it, you see it."

I practice the inter-subjective realm and how to maintain a positive therapeutic relationship.  I believe that having a safe holding environment for those clients who need it is important.  Maintaining hope is important, but easier said than done.  It comes from persistence, it comes from love and believing the best in your client.  The inter-subjective, dual relationship is one that can be reached having all these components of hope, providing a correctional emotional experience, and being aware of what people experience, and expressing genuine empathy.   Having an awareness of what human beings experience and being able to meet clients where they are at rather than expecting change to prove yourself effective or wanting change too quickly.  Focusing on positive movement and little things that are actually big deals for clients is important.  Being insightful and being able to pull out what is positive, their strengths, and provide a safe environment for them to open up and helping them discover what works/ what doesn’t work in their life, how to apply the skills you talk about to their own life. 

 It is not just talking with a person and figuring things out for them.  It is about helping them identify and cope with their feelings/experiences/ interpersonal relationships.  It is about giving them the proper tools/skills to successfully cope with the problems in their lives.  For example, with my clients I review what we have worked on in our sessions, provide praise when they apply it on their own, empower them to do it on their own, and provide hope and optimism to their life.  That is what the inter-subjective relationship is about, learning from one another!

We grow from the interactions/ transactions we have with our clients.  We learn from them, their experience, their side of the vase(i.e. everyone sees a vase in different shades and we only learn by each sharing our side).  Yes, our supervisors contribute to our learning experience, but it is our clients which really make the mark.  A client who is “resistant” or “difficult”, you learn from that.  You learn by trial and error, what you did that worked and what you think did not work.  Your growth comes from what is SHARED between you and your client and what connects the both of you to produce a successful therapeutic relationship.  Being able to identify your true self within this therapeutic relationship i.e. what are you experiencing? What are your feelings? Are you experiencing counter transference, if so, why? Process it with a supervisor, write it out in a journal, talk about it, don’t just brush it under the table.  Constantly self-analyze, question, interpret, and feel with all your senses.  . 

Let yourself be real, genuine, human and let that piece incorporate into the inter-subjective relationship.  Again, this element of inter-subjectivity involves something higher than we know, spirituality, faith, a belief in the good will of people.. knowing what people, want, desire, need, and how to make them acknowledge them, value them, believe in them, etc.   

Copyright:

Priscilla C. Raj

Samantha James - Rise

John Lennon - Imagine

Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve

benassi bros - Feel Alive

Quotes

Quotes are a huge part of my identity.  I think up my own quotes day by day and have quotes that I live by.  Quotes that are influenced by my values, morals, beliefs, and spirituality.  Quotes that involve friendship, success, passion, inspiration, motivation, self-love, and empowerment.  I am so happy to have my own space to share my quotes with all of you.  I use these quotes with clients and staff to inspire and educate.  I will try to recover all my quotes from facebook as well and add them here.  Love you all friends and visitors!

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will -Gandhi-

You must be the change you want to see in the world
-Gandhi-

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever -Gandhi-

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. -Aristotle-

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it -Aristotle-

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. Voltaire

The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises.
Freud

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon

You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are.
John Lennon

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. Picasso

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.
Salvador Dali

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha

Life must be lived as play. Plato

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. Confucius

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Confucius

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope. Maya Angelou

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
Saint Augustine

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. Shakespeare

The unexamined life is not worth living.
Socrates

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
Mother Teresa

We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.
Mother Teresa

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.Ralph emerson

A heart in love with beauty never grows old.
Turkish proverb

Intuition is nothing but the outcome of earlier intellectual experience. Albert Einstein

Opportunities willl present themselves as you follow your passions.

You can not depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Mark  Twain

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes Gandhi

From nothing comes truth. From truth comes courage. From courage comes change.

In the attitude of silence, the soul finds the path in a clearer light and what is elusive and deptive resolves itself

Each of us is empowered to drink from the cup of spirituality that quenches her own thirst.

To laugh is to risk appearing foolish. To cry is to risk appearing weak.  To reach out to another is to risk rejection.  To expose feelings is to risk vulnerbility.  To love is to risk not being loved in return.  To hope is to risk disappointment. To try is to risk failure. William Arthur Ward

Listening only to my instincts I discovered superb things. Monet

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Leonardo Da Vinci

I shut my eyes in order to see the world. Paul Gaugin

The Helping Relationship

I would like to share a piece of my work.  Everything in my life all leads to one true purpose and passion: PEOPLE.  Through art, history, photography, traveling, and therapy I work off my innate connection with people.  I am a child of god whose purpose is to work with others for a lifetime.  I will never give up on people, I will be there light when they think they are in the dark, I will be there sun when it's a cloudy day, and I will be their inspiration when they feel like all hope is gone...
The following writing comments on neurobiology and "resistance." There is this term in the social service field of "resistance" aka difficult, which I believe to be socially constructed.  Aren't we all "resistant"? Haven't we all had experiences in our life that affect our being that make us stronger, weaker, skeptical, fearful, anxious, disappointed, etc.  We can not judge or label human beings as resistant when they have had experiences that have shaped them.  Oppression, discrimination, labeling, lying, deceit, abuse, neglect, distrust-one needs to prove themselve and work to make them believe in goodness and truth again.

I was actually just reading an article “Neurobiology for Clinical Social Work” and it is a perfect article for this question.  It touches on the changes in the field i.e. from psychoanalysis to ego psychology to object relations and self psychology, and it especially focuses on the influence of the relationship.  With object relations, “interactions between child and caregiver are internalized by the child as templates for relational interactions throughout life-templates that will also shape how they experience and behave in therapeutic relationships (Applegate, 2007, pg. 241). Theorists of intersubjectivity have also identified the relationship between child, caregiver, client and clinican as co-creating( Applegate, 2007, pg. 241).  It mentioned how children internalize ways of handling strong emotions that place them at risk for later psychopathology.  Therefore, these strong emotions are contributing towards resistance.  Aggressive impulses can be formed. Affect dysregulation with kids of parents of substance abusers, adolescent parents and children and depressed parent and children.  Many children in foster care are products of substance abusers or parents with a mental health diagnosis.   Neurobiology plays a role, but the helping relationship really is the key to therapeutic effectiveness. 

In terms of neurobiology, the movement of emotions between individuals connects them in dynamic, reciprocal relationship.  Emotion connects mind and body between individuals.  When an individual’s nonverbal communication match another, synchrony happens, and we may actually feel what another person is feelingInterning in foster care for a few months, I have come across many clients who have attachment disorders and come from unstable and inconsistent “holding environments.”

I have difficulty with the idea of not liking a client. I have had very difficult clients, but I understand why they are difficult, and I meet them where they are at.  I thrive off of my interpersonal interactions with people and being of service to them.   I have a strong spiritual base to my work and believe in treating clients equally.  I have innate empathy for my clients and understand their feelings i.e. their anger and resistance.  Being able to identify with a person’s experience and again really FEEL genuine empathy can aid you in working through that resistance.  It takes skills and it also takes a lot of work on yourself to really be able to help your client.  Interpersonal interacts are the biggest tool for learning so constantly exploring cultures, traveling, engaging with others, and reading builds you up as a person and as a clinician makes me more mindful and insightful.  You keep learning about yourself and working on yourself and this affects your relationship with the client. When you have your life’s passion, you spend a lot of time working towards how you can keep it growing. 

As a clinician how do I provide a holding environment in the face of resistance?

One example, client removed from mother and has been in 4 different foster homes. There are so many social workers, psychologists, teachers that he has been verbally abusive too, and with me he demonstrated some resistance.  He would answer questions with a very short response, but by the end of the session I had him engaged and talking.  

I provided a holding environment by validating his feelings, active listening, and acknowledgement of his experiences and his strengths as a young boy.  He has constant instability in his environment by switching homes, schools, therapists, etc and I have to show if that I am consistent with him: show up on time, keep to our sessions, remind him of our sessions, let him know I am looking forward to our sessions, give mini homework to keep him involved.  Foster kids have people that come in and out of their lives, and it takes work  to show them that you care and want to be involved.  I proved to this client that he was in a safe, trusting environment.  The relationship has a tremendous influence on a client’s perceived holding environment.  If you are genuine, caring a child may just open up to you and begin to trust.  Trust is a huge issue for a foster child and it takes time, but with validation and identifying how you can be of service it can be built between helper and client.  Warmth, genuine, acceptance, attentiveness, concern, and responsiveness is key conveyed to the client and they appreciate you for that and your relationship grows.  Identify with their emotions/feelings as a REAL person.  Foster kids are treated by their label and how people can perceive them (Bad, violent, angry).  Identify with what you are given.  A client is screaming at you, connect with their feelings of anger and deescalate the situation.  Every client is resistant on some level( they had a bad social worker, they have dealt with rejection and disappointment their whole lives, they have to deal with the system day after day, they feel your going to judge them) Prove them wrong and instead of us focusing on the resistance, focus on how to connect with them rather than the resistance.  Empower your client to believe “The Power and Empowering potential of the Clinical Relationship!”

Baby it's Cold Outside

Something special about the winter in New York, the chill in the air, the snow, hot chocolate, movies and museums, the city lights, horse and carriage rides in Central Park, charm, and a special feeling of warmth when indoors.  Reading and writing is such a beautiful thing.  To look out your window and see the city lights and know the opportunity and beauty that is right at your finger tips. You can taste it, see it, smell it, and touch it. The city where dreams can come true.  People move to New York and hold this hope inside of them that they can fulfill their hopes and dreams.  It is all possible reach for the stars and believe in yourself. 

deadmau5 & Kaskade - I Remember (HQ)

Kaskade - Be Still

U2 - Magnificent

God Put a Smile Upon Your Face by Coldplay with lyrics

Enrique Iglesias - Heartbeat ft. Nicole Scherzinger