The Intersubjective Relationship Between Therapist and Client

The field is moving towards the intersubjective relationship meaning the dual relationship between two people-the innate connection that two people have when they first interact.

In school I receive many confirmations that I am in the right place. Where the field is moving, what is taught, and discovered, I already practice and have for years. 

"When you are living and breathing in your purpose you know it, you feel it, you see it."

I practice the inter-subjective realm and how to maintain a positive therapeutic relationship.  I believe that having a safe holding environment for those clients who need it is important.  Maintaining hope is important, but easier said than done.  It comes from persistence, it comes from love and believing the best in your client.  The inter-subjective, dual relationship is one that can be reached having all these components of hope, providing a correctional emotional experience, and being aware of what people experience, and expressing genuine empathy.   Having an awareness of what human beings experience and being able to meet clients where they are at rather than expecting change to prove yourself effective or wanting change too quickly.  Focusing on positive movement and little things that are actually big deals for clients is important.  Being insightful and being able to pull out what is positive, their strengths, and provide a safe environment for them to open up and helping them discover what works/ what doesn’t work in their life, how to apply the skills you talk about to their own life. 

 It is not just talking with a person and figuring things out for them.  It is about helping them identify and cope with their feelings/experiences/ interpersonal relationships.  It is about giving them the proper tools/skills to successfully cope with the problems in their lives.  For example, with my clients I review what we have worked on in our sessions, provide praise when they apply it on their own, empower them to do it on their own, and provide hope and optimism to their life.  That is what the inter-subjective relationship is about, learning from one another!

We grow from the interactions/ transactions we have with our clients.  We learn from them, their experience, their side of the vase(i.e. everyone sees a vase in different shades and we only learn by each sharing our side).  Yes, our supervisors contribute to our learning experience, but it is our clients which really make the mark.  A client who is “resistant” or “difficult”, you learn from that.  You learn by trial and error, what you did that worked and what you think did not work.  Your growth comes from what is SHARED between you and your client and what connects the both of you to produce a successful therapeutic relationship.  Being able to identify your true self within this therapeutic relationship i.e. what are you experiencing? What are your feelings? Are you experiencing counter transference, if so, why? Process it with a supervisor, write it out in a journal, talk about it, don’t just brush it under the table.  Constantly self-analyze, question, interpret, and feel with all your senses.  . 

Let yourself be real, genuine, human and let that piece incorporate into the inter-subjective relationship.  Again, this element of inter-subjectivity involves something higher than we know, spirituality, faith, a belief in the good will of people.. knowing what people, want, desire, need, and how to make them acknowledge them, value them, believe in them, etc.   

Copyright:

Priscilla C. Raj